People: Who do you want to be?
Me: Myself! (Living up to my own full potential)
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Backstory: I was reflecting on my career journey few days ago just to be clear and sure about why I am doing what I am doing and how far I have come. Alhumdulilah. And I happened to write this in the flow (you can read it below, it's unedited), and I felt like sharing it with you all as it took me years..... to pen down my deep thoughts in words with such clarity.
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There were multiple factors involved for why I chose to invest my life on the career related to public spaces and urban design after 5 years of studying Architecture. I am Ar. Azbah Ansari , Founder of Peacemakers Pakistani and I live in Lahore, Pakistan. Here are those points:
1. I saw more opportunities and need for improvement in our urban spaces i.e., outside of our buildings as compared to our buildings. I don't need to go deep into it because we all know what I am talking about, will explain my point briefly in next few points, anyways.
2. An Architect is someone who designs a shelter for the comfort of home owners. But, what if, home owners are unable to feel comfort in places outside homes. So, if I am able to create that comfort outside, shouldn't I be doing that? Well, I must. So, I am - creating comfort in my own way.
3. Over 25 years of my life, being an observer, and someone who loved to travel and explore and observe places and people, I had concluded that "whatever happens between buildings can determine the quality of life for people". So as a professional, I decided "my task is to create space and opportunities for good things to happen and to facilitate human well-being and quality of life."
4. Why I developed this belief? Well, shortly put, as children we used to play outside our homes, on streets and parks, we were socially active, knew our neighbors and were physically well and we were happy. Then, certain crime stories spread and we were restricted to porches and then to homes especially girls because they were and still are the vulnerable gender in the cities.
My mother says, during her times, there was more freedom of movement and sense of safety due to eyes on the street and social connectedness and social relationships. Neighbors knew each other and looked after other's children as well. Makes sense. But this behavioral change created resentment in me and health issues as well when I was bound to stay indoors and I gave up play as well.
5. As I grew up, during our site visits or travelling from University to home, this thought came that "our men have forgotten how to treat women or behave if they see a woman pass by. I mean, have they not seen any woman before?" Well, we have heard this statement before, many times, by women in frustration and anger. And it's so true, as that's exactly how it feels.
I started asking myself various questions like: "Is it going to teach men how to treat women if we keep them indoors or hide them or is it going to make them more curious due to starvation from information and lack of interaction?" "Is it going to be helpful for women if the only place they knew to be safe for them was their home?" I don't think so, as it will instill fear in them and they'll be anxious when they have to go out and this will eventually make them more vulnerable and weaker. I can say that because I have experienced it myself. This fear was deeply rooted in me, unconsciously, and would come up every time I have to step out, I was only able to identify it after years of self-reflection and health struggles.
And this made me question: "What about the women who have to go out and work to feed their families? Are we training people and society with a healthy mindset leading to healthy development or are we creating a fear dominant community where women fear men, and anything or any place outside their homes and men take over the public spaces because they think that it belongs to them only?"
This was my basic calling to reclaim public spaces and educate towards safety and respectful behavior and freedom instead of fearful restrictions in the name of safety. To behave and live from a place of inner security instead of insecurities - the society I want to see and live in and I am contributing to develop it as well. InshaAllah.
6. I also asked myself that "what has been the role of educated men in all of this, who wanted well for their women and children but still choose to over-protect and confine and not invest time in community development?" That's a big question. The simplified version of this has been "why do people (families) not spend time in public spaces?" It's okay to have family members like children and women out in presence of their men. So why don't we see it frequently?
The answer was, men are busy in making money to feed their families as the economic pressure has been too much for a good living, men have to spend their lives in strict work routine and that leaves them no time to take family out for leisure and rest. Also, don't have safe and great places in all neighborhoods, and travelling to distance would require time, energy, fuel and money. So, let's just stay home. Again, not a healthy practice. I had personally seen this happen as well.
The economic shift and the mindset and behavioral change. It ended up in more isolated homes from communities and living in survival mode, not only men but women as well. I am not pointing towards the consumerism culture here, that's entirely a different topic and for particular class who waste life on it. But indeed, it has impact on all people including those who live with basic amenities. There's too much pressure on men to earn for entire family meanwhile providing protection for their women and children too.
So, while researching on how economic pressure can be lessen, I learnt that revenue generated out of public spaces helps in improving the economy of cities and a country ultimately. Then, I had found another strong reason because the health of a family unit including men, women and children are dearly important to me. So how can we make use of our public spaces to its full potential is what I am focused on. And this is where I landed onto Placemaking.
7. Placemaking is a practice of making our public spaces better with community engagement. Bingo! This is why I chose to be a placemaker! Community engagement practices will help us in addressing issues that we come across on daily basis and also in development of all people engaged and minimizing barriers and fearful mindset as we get to know each other and through this we work towards making our public spaces better to accelerate change.
I acknowledged the fact that in Pakistan, we need to start with shifting mindsets, community development and then public spaces that will be maintained as they will be created with love, purpose and engagement of all people in the process. This is my vision and my dream and slow steps have been empowering to myself as it has helped me open up, share my voice, step out, walk around and build secure connections outside home and definitely, change starts with I and it spreads as we become the team.
8. As I started this work, I realized that youth's focus is more on the aesthetics than the meaning, all thanks to deep conditioning of consumerism and self-centered and self-projection culture. There is hustle to reach to the top and make money and no one has time to be distracted from their goals. For example: spend time with their neighbors, or relax and spend time in nature and let alone enjoy the privilege of rest on daily basis. The hustle culture and being busy is the highlight of life. Engaging people without any agenda has been difficult for me personally.
Doing unpopular things has been challenging. Have to first think of ideas and then marketing plans to gain people's attention. I am still not sure whether it's normal or not. But to always go for hype, isn't normal at least for me. Not judging anymore, just observing and moving forward to get the opportunities of meaningful engagement. Lot of areas to learn and grow in as a community leader.
9. Women are vocal nowadays, it's majorly due to frustration of all past years definitely. They are more into hustle culture then men, I happen to see that as well. There is an imbalance in polarity i.e. women are more in their masculine energy and men are more in their feminine energy or toxic masculinity (talking from mental health perspective).It's important to address because this is a core reason for why there's instability and imbalance in family structure within homes.
People make the houses into homes! If they are unable to create comfort in their homes then there's no use of hiring Architects to design a comfortable shelter/house. Well, you get me where I am coming from, right? So yes, this career & practice is helping me in coming to awareness & balance myself & helping me to address it to people as well so we are able to create comfortable homes and communities and not just houses! I don't believe in passing judgements but yes, inspiring change and improvement is the purpose of my life.
10. It's a very slow and tiring process but very meaningful and rewarding as well and I choose to live a meaningful life. There are still way too many lessons to learn and unlearn and eventually breaking patterns as I practice those lessons. Stay along if you are interested to know about this journey of mine as you take your own personal journey of life and its lessons. InshaAllah.
Here's the picture giving off most relatable vibes of my journey : Breaking the unhealthy patterns for liberation.
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